Joyful stories sometimes start with pain.
7 months ago, my wife Brooke was in the hospital to deliver baby Charlie. It was a high risk pregnancy–Brooke had a bad case of placenta previa, and Charlie was going to be delivered deliberately early, provided he made it that far. Brooke was on bed rest for a large part of her pregnancy, and waiting for delivery day was some strange combination of the calm before a storm, watching water boil, and staring at the clock. Time seemed stuck in molasses, but we also weren’t in any rush.
Deliverance Day arrived, and with it a small army in the delivery room. More than a dozen people assembled around us, armored in masks and purple latex gloves.
I have no doubt Brooke’s experience was different from mine (I wonder why?). But for me, and likely for her too, it was overwhelming. We were completely out of our depth, worried about the future, and helpless. We were forced to trust everything to a group of strangers–this group of supposed experts who were going to work a small miracle.
It was not an easy delivery. I will spare you the details, but Brooke lost half her blood in about three minutes. The doctors and nurses had to work fast–really, really fast. All I could do was sit by her head, stroke her cheek, and tell her how great of a job she was doing with no idea if she was going to be okay.
Don’t worry–she was okay. And so was Charlie.
That said, it wasn’t over. As some of you already know, Charlie had a stay in the NICU for a few weeks; he wasn’t ready to breathe on his own, and he needed a lot of extra help at first. Watching Brooke, it may have been harder for her to handle Charlie staying at the hospital than it was to deliver!
In hindsight, however, she needn’t have worried. The nurses and doctors in the Tacoma General NICU swaddled our little family, cradled us in their arms, and took care of everything. It was a wonderful reminder of the goodness of others. We saw how much they cared, and they gave us the priceless gift of knowing capable people are going to do everything in their power to help your family come home.
Relief is a wonderful feeling–it serves as a reminder that bad begets good. You can’t feel relief without stress or loss first. We need the bad or the hard to fully appreciate the good.
Reflecting on our experience, it reminded me of what we aspire to achieve in our own work with clients. I could replace a few words of that last passage and suddenly be describing the experience of one of our clients (though no surgery or obnoxious, beeping machines required). Clients often entrust a lifetime of what they have built financially to us. They depend on us to transition family legacies, preserve (or improve) their way of life, and finance their “one day I will” adventures. It is often emotional, high stakes, and beyond the scope of their own expertise. Clients often arrive with an urgent need, anxious, and at the point where we were–ready to trust a group of strangers to see us through. We need to deliver not a baby, but advice that will give clients financial confidence.
We want you to feel like my wife and I did, cradled by the team in the NICU.
So what does that actually look like?
- Not only are we there when you need us, but we check in proactively. I remember the ARNP coming in after her long day was done into Brooke’s room so we could hear exactly where Charlie was at. She exuded competence but also empathized (she actually cried with Brooke), listened, and left us feeling not just relieved…but prepared. We want you to feel that way.
- There is a whole team here. Every morning, the NICU would assemble their entire team to compare notes and agree on the best possible next steps for Charlie. Everyone from the lead doctor to the neurologist to the nurse to the intern was there and on the same page, working towards our success. The left hand always knew what the right hand was doing.
Here at Conestoga, it isn’t so different. Sometimes you hear from me, but behind the scenes we are putting our heads together to identify the best recommendations and processes to achieve your goals. James might cut through red tape with the insurance company to avoid headaches for you. Monika might fix a form to ensure your beneficiaries are exactly like you want them and align with the rest of your estate plan. Susan might have combed through your accounts to ensure your IRA’s required distribution was completed on time.
Even with recommendations and your financial plan, I might have had a spirited discussion with an advanced planning specialist, attorney, or financial analyst from Commonwealth to identify the best answer to your complicated tax, estate, or investment questions. The feeling of knowing you have a team dedicated to helping you is rare these days.
- We talk to family and friends. Sometimes family members need to be part of the conversation, both at the NICU hospital and in our office. We are happy to facilitate conversations, whether it is your parents sharing family legacy goals with the next generation, talking with your kids about the basics of building wealth, or helping your best friend with their own financial plan. Even if you understand and have a plan, it doesn’t mean you need all the answers for everyone else.
- We also talk with (and organize) the other “doctors”. Our doctors were never afraid to call in another specialist when they thought it would help Charlie come home sooner. Similarly, I am happy to meet or talk with CPAs, estate attorneys, bankers, mortgage lenders, corporate trustees, and others to ensure we are on the same page for the overarching plan. When a group of financial professionals need to be on the same page, we aren’t afraid to get everyone on a call or in a room. We speak insurance, legalese, taxes, and English. That means we can serve as not just translator, but synthesizer of strategies.
And if you need someone, we can help you find the professional who is right for your situation. After all, you might need an estate attorney who focuses on special needs trusts in your particular county, a CPA who specializes in estate tax returns, or a mortgage broker who can help with the unusual construction loan. We have helped connect clients with business brokers to sell their business, expert appraisers to sell their inherited collectibles, and even movers to save them money when they right-sized their home.
Brooke and I walked out of the NICU with a beautiful baby boy. We won’t ever forget the nurses and doctors who made that a reality. As a parent, it is only natural to feel like no one else will ever care about your children as much as you do. But in that few weeks, we realized that there are incredible, giving, kind people who are tirelessly committed to caring about you and your family. Like Luke Bryan sings, “I believe most people are good.”
Cheers to all of our clients, present and future, to caring about you that same way.
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