“To awaken human emotion is the highest level of art.” – Isadora Duncan
“I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking.” – Albert Einstein
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The Myth of Pure Rationality
Many of you know by now that we have a baby on the way. Preparing for a little one involves stocking up on all the normal things—clothes, diapers, a bedroom—not to mention preparing yourself, your calendar, and their older siblings.
But you also need to prepare a name.
I’ve always kept notes and lists (no surprise from a financial planner). Somewhere in my records were text conversations with Brooke, years before we were even married, of possible baby names. Most people wait until children are imminent to have that conversation, but we didn’t. Part of me now wonders whether we were gently, unintentionally testing each other—seeing whether we could talk about something that implied real commitment.
We talked through names, made long lists, and narrowed them down, evaluating each one. It felt like a surprisingly rational approach to something that is typically very emotional. Yet rational frameworks can be incredibly helpful for emotional choices: they organize us, they slow us down, and they give us the sense that we’ve thought things through. Plus it makes us feel pretty good about ourselves.
Humans aren’t so much rational creatures as we are rationalizing creatures.
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Where Emotion Belongs in Your Financial Life
And that is why we ask something somewhat paradoxical of our clients.
When it comes to the investment process, we want you to set aside emotion and lean on disciplined, financially logical decisions. That is where rationality truly pays off.
But when it comes to financial planning—your goals, priorities, and the life you want to build—we encourage something different. We ask you to loosen that rational grip a bit. Emotional doesn’t mean irresponsible; it means human.
Financial planning is the place where your wants, hopes, and sense of meaning deserve space. Yes, many goals are rooted in rational needs—security, income, stability—but the desire behind those goals is often rooted in what brings joy, comfort, or fulfillment.
When someone wants a fancier car, a bigger boat, to endow a scholarship, or pay for their grandchild’s education, these aren’t purely logical choices. They are emotional expressions of identity and love. And that is not only okay—it’s essential. Your best life isn’t found at the edge of a theoretical efficiency curve. It is found where the numbers support what matters most to you.
Our clients often know this intuitively. Many have told us they want to take “the big trip” they always dreamed about, or move closer to grandkids, or remodel their home so it becomes the gathering place for every holiday. These decisions might not score perfectly on a spreadsheet of optimization—but they often score perfectly on a life well-lived.
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Understanding What Truly Brings Joy
So if you want to buy the sixth ornate 19th-century saddle bag that brings you unbridled joy and your financial plan can accommodate, go for it. Or if you are dreaming about the latest Ping driver that you are sure will finally fix your hook on the golf course without breaking the bank, just do it. If you want to remodel an already functional home, help your daughter take that semester abroad, or fund a quirky “Fancy Tie” budget because it simply delights you—don’t dismiss it as a bad idea.
The key is distinguishing between something fleeting and something that brings lasting joy to you and those you care about. If your financial plan can balance it with your other priorities, perhaps it deserves to see the light of day.
We also see emotional preferences show up in more subtle ways on the financial front:
- Some clients choose to pay off a mortgage even when it’s not mathematically optimal—simply because they hate debt.
- Others deliberately choose a more conservative investment allocation, not because they need to, but because it brings psychological comfort and helps them sleep better at night.
- Some clients deliberately sell their home or even their business to someone who they believe will honor the legacy and the essence of what they built–even if the buyer isn’t technically the highest bidder.
These decisions may be “suboptimal” on paper—but they can be perfect in real life.
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A Personal Reminder About When Logic Should Step Aside
I was scrolling through names this month, trying to decide what we would call this little girl. My eyes landed on a name and, unbidden, tears started to fall. It wasn’t rational—not in the traditional sense. There was no analysis left to do. I simply knew.
It didn’t feel like choosing a name. It felt like discovering it.
That moment reminded me of something I see constantly in our work with clients: the decisions that matter most rarely arrive as a logical conclusion. They tend to show up as a feeling—a knowing—and then we build the numbers around that.
Despite how much I love rational problem-solving, that evening I surrendered to the warm, unmistakable clarity of intuition. Some of the best decisions you will ever make—financial or otherwise—have nary a shred of logic to them.
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Where Planning Meets Being Human
The best financial planning leaves room for these moments. It doesn’t eliminate emotion; it accommodates it. Not all emotional decisions will be as inexpensive as choosing a name—but with a thoughtful plan in place, it becomes far easier to determine how a sudden realization, opportunity, or heartfelt desire can become reality.
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Takeaway
Financial planning is strongest when it supports both sides of you—the logical and the emotional. Your plan should not only help you make smart financial decisions; it should help you live a life that feels rich in every way.
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A Gentle Invitation
If you have felt a pull toward something lately—big or small—bring it up the next time we talk. Part of our job is helping you explore whether your financial plan can support what your heart is nudging you toward.